How to get a bigger boat

If you’re a regular to Lake Koocanusa, chances are you already know the pleasures of boating. But if you’re still in your starter boat – and itching to expand – it may take some convincing to get your spouse or other family members on board.

Here are six handy steps to help your loved ones realize your boating needs are bigger. Much, much bigger. The campaign starts now, my friend.

• Invite (too many) friends and family to join you on an outing. It’s going to be a perfect day. The sun is shining, the picnic and cool drinks are packed. The kids are ready for fun and they’ve each brought a friend. Gather everyone on the dock and start the load. Begin with the kids or with the elderly. Grandma gets the best seat! Then realize, too late, that there’s not enough room on your modestly-sized craft. Oh no. If only we had a bigger boat. Offer up helpfully, “We’ll do shifts, I guess.”
  

• Get the whole family involved in boat repairs. “Gotta keep this old tub afloat!” Use boating references too frequently such as “ahoy, matey,” or “arrggghh.” Your aim here is to pirate talk them into a new boat that doesn’t need as much work.
  

• Get an invite aboard a friend’s fancier craft and take your spouse. This isn’t the time to selfishly head out for some one-on-one time with your pal. You need to stay focused.
  

• Happen by a boat show. Or a boat retailer. At the very least, wander down the dock where big, beautiful boats are docked. Admire their names and shining brightwork. Sigh. But not loudly.
  

• Leave a quote on the kitchen counter to be discovered. “Oh that? I learned we could get a pretty good trade-in on our boat. But here, let me get that paperwork out of your way.”
  

• Talk about the memories you make together when you’re at the lake. Slip in how relaxed you feel out on the boat, and what a great place it is trap the kids into spending time with you and your spouse. Just kidding! (Or are you?)
  

Now sit back and wait for the requests from your family to roll in. Act surprised and consider their wisdom. Then commit to a new craft pronto, so you can live your best KV life this summer.